performance anxiety

Sometimes, you get it. Sometimes, you don’t.

Maybe it was the wrong audience, maybe it was the wrong choice of topic – I don’t know. Getting the overall lowest score so far hurts my ego.

I’m sitting in the smoking room, hiding from the other performers because my head is throbbing and my heart is racing and I keep thinking “why wasn’t I good enough”

But is that the performance anxiety talking?

It’s the blood rush in my head, it’s the nausea I feel when I want to throw up, it’s the hands shaking and clammy need to find my anxiety medication because I don’t know where it is.

But I’ll get there.

Here’s a quick clip, if you’d like to see it.